Wait so we argue about how you keep telling me to say shit to your face instead of texting, but when I do, you don't answer back?? Like... wtf??

Alone

There's just no me time.. Ever. It's all the same. My sister is just like my mom I feel it. She takes it personally when I want time to myself. She feels like she isn't fun enough to hang out with. Why must everyone do this? Why must they fucking do this. Why can't they just understand that I need this to function?? It's the same shit again. I need to find a job. I need to get out of here. I'm tired of dealing with bullshit like this. I am incapable of showing affection, so they assume I don't give a shit about them. All I can do is give them some time, but even with that its just not enough. Nothing I do is enough. No one ever sees how hard I try.. Hell even I wouldn't. Damnit.. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate how I need to do so many things that take so much energy just to prove I do care, then have to take even more energy to continue to prove it because in order to reenergize I have to cancel all my effort to make it better. I waste energy to give them time (not to mention take more energy to seem happy and energized and hyper in order to hide my miserableness), then prove that time useless because then I have to take time off from them again to recharge. This is an endless cycle of tiredness that just .. I'm so fucking exhausted..why can't I just fucking end it. It's the same shit after the same shit.. All my energy and time is all a waste. I just am so fucking tired.. All the time...